If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My vagina just clenched in fear
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
