Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.

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(847): View more from Illinois

How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?

Fav 92 1823 4197
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(206): View more from Washington

he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.

Fav 13 9616 1085
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.

Fav 23 1221 5011
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(252): View more from North Carolina

Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it

(919): View more from North Carolina

Are you talking about my vagina?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Pass out mid-funnel last night.

Fav 4 2583 2034
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(917): View more from New York City

I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.

Fav 15 6148 1366
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me

Fav 2 19 212
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(360): View more from Washington

You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?

(509): View more from Washington

Yep.

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