he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
