There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
