i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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