Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
