So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
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