Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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