And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
