Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
