please come you make the beer taste better
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
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