You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
