wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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