you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
