I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
