Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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