I puked a lego.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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