maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
