Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
