I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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