u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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