I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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