it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
