So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
