Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
