I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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