I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
