Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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