my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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