Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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