How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
True college students do jello shots in the library
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
