I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
