its not stalking. its research.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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