Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
