He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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