im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
