i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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