bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
