Already got asked if we're dating
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
