Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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