he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
