Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
