before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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