My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
