The maid of honor just puked.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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