Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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