yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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