I faked an abortion last night.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
