We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
