You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
