we should wear snuggies to the strip club
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
