Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
