did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
