So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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