My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
where am i from again
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
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