So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
