I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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