Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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