Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
