you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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