we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
