i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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