Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i will never coherently bang her
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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