Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Holy sore nipples Batman
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
