he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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