TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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