Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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