i permit you to call me
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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