I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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