This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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