i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
