Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
