you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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