Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
