I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
