I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
