i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
