And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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